Sex toys are fabulous contraptions of all shapes and sizes which are designed to give you hours of endless pleasure. They can bring a spark to the most mundane of relationships and are guaranteed to bring a twinkle to the eye of any user, but…. Can a sex toy change your life?
I believe it can! Here is my story…
I had a very difficult childhood and grew up as a young woman with a lot of personal issues. I had difficulty with any kind of intimacy and believed that sex was something that you had to do because it was ‘normal’ part of any relationship. I didn’t enjoy it, in fact I hated it. My partner (at the time) and I tried so many things to help me relax but it just didn’t seem possible.
After years of struggling with my feelings and suffering with what I now believe to be sexual dysfunction, I attended a home party where they were selling lingerie and sex toys. Some of the guests there were girls that I hadn’t seen for a long time. As we relaxed over drinks I was astounded by their completely relaxed attitudes towards their sex lives. Nothing was off limits, everything was discussed and after some strong recommendations from the other girls (and dutch courage) I found myself investing in a small Bullet vibrator.
I had never owned a sex toy before and remember nervously reading up on the internet exactly how this bullet vibrator was supposed to be used. I switched it on and was completely amazed at how powerful it was! It was very quiet and discreet and the results were absolutely amazing. I can honestly say that it delivered the most powerful and intense orgasm that I have ever had – in less than 10 seconds!
For the first time in my life I began to understand exactly what all of the fuss was about. I was surrounded by a feeling of complete euphoria and it was wonderful. That little silver bullet felt like the best friend that I never had. If I was having trouble sleeping, or had a terrible day at work, or simply felt horny the bullet would come out and all stress would be relieved.
Through this new area of ‘self discovery’ I began to learn a lot more about how my body worked and what made me tick. I also found that at times when my body was unable to relax during sex that It helped to sing a song in my head to stop me over thinking everything (one of the best pieces of advice I ever received!).
However, by this point the problems within my marriage had reached a point where intimacy between my husband and I had become scarce. Because I felt more relaxed we did try to bring a spark into the marriage but we were stuck in a rut that we just couldn’t get out of. The marriage had been in serious trouble for a long time for various different reasons, and unfortunately we had reached a point where we just couldn’t save it.
I buried myself in dealing with the kids and juggling the household but continued on my ‘journey of self discovery’ until I became quite happy and content with my body. In short, I was relaxed with my sexuality and was enjoying a much needed break from intimacy with another person. I had my first ‘encounter’ a few months after the separation and surprisingly, I found sex to be quite an enjoyable experience.
This was a massive difference from the scared, dysfunctional girl from less than 12 months ago. I was interested in the experience and I wanted to learn all those new things that I had spent years shying away from. I still loved my collection of toys BUT I had reached the point where I was ready for something more..
These days I can happily say that I feel 100% more confident and comfortable with myself and I am truly happy for the first time in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that my drastic personality change is solely the work of a Vibrator but I do believe that buying that first small bullet was a catalyst for helping me connect with myself and to help me deal with my emotions. The rest of the pieces of the jigsaw seemed to fall into place by themselves!
In June 2011, I set up my internet based company www.voluptasse.co.uk which sells sex toys and lingerie both online and through Home Parties. I am passionate about sex toys and love selling them and matching the right toy with the right person. Rather like solving a puzzle, every women is different and I often find myself acting as a kind of agony aunt for some very similar problems to what I had. Some women enjoy clitoral stimulation whereas others prefer a G Spot orgasm. For those who prefer a ‘blended’ orgasm (G-spot and Clitoral together) we look at toys like Rabbits and I advise on the right way to use them and how to get the best out of your toy collection.
I decided to broaden our range to include lingerie and costumes up to size 24 so that all shapes and sizes of women are catered for, I believe that every woman deserves to feel sexy and with the right type of underwear this is always possible! We also sell an exquisite vintage range of clothing that is all handmade to your measurements so our clients get the best possible fit.
I have also rediscovered another passion that I have and that is writing, I used to write a lot during my younger years but had to stop for various reasons and I never seemed to have the time to pick it up again. Through Voluptasse, I discovered Blogging and started to write my own Blog and Erotic Fiction and the response had been fantastic! I really am having the time of my life!
Therefore, I am a big believer that a sex toy can change your life. it certainly did for me and I haven’t looked back since!