I like stuff. I like buying stuff. I have all sorts of stuff, in every colour, and style. I know my postmen personally, and all the couriers know to bring the parcels to my work, cos I’ll not be home to receive them. Unfortunately, the one thing I don’t have is a lot of wardrobe space! My house is like a shop, with hangers hanging from any given surface. Clothes air in the living room, dangling from the architrave , because its in the best sunlight, and will dry quicker. Not that this speeds up the progression from living room to wardrobe, you understand. It will then move to the hooks on the back of my bedroom door, and only once there’s space, will it make it into the wardrobe. Or my husbands wardrobe. Or my sons wardrobe. His friends must think he’s a cross dresser…
To solve this predicament, I would have to sacrifice my wares to either eBay, or the charity shops. Being just about 5ft1, chest-less and skinny, my friends are all taller or bigger than me, with boobs that one of my tops wouldn’t even start to cover. So I don’t have the satisfaction (and possibility of borrowing again) that one could get from giving them to a friend. I’ve ebayed, and it’s taken hours, just for nothing to sell and yet I get a bill at the end of it anyway, and usually spend more time in the buying section, than selling. So I give up, and just buy more coat hangers, and over the door hooks to hang all the things I’ve bought that week on.
Aside from the obvious effects my addiction has on my life, including a very empty purse, and a very full house, it also makes getting dressed in the morning quite a chore. Remembering what I own, trying to figure out which room it might be in, and then actually finding it. And getting it on really quickly while I rush to answer the door for the latest fashion deliveries. On Sunday, I wanted to wear my black tulle skirt, and I knew it should be in my wardrobe. 10 minutes later I actually found it, in the wardrobe, but only after searching everywhere, and that very wardrobe twice. Then, when I put it on with the top and boots I had in mind, I just looked like a ’90s goth, so I took it all off again.
I haven’t got a particular style, it pretty much varies day to day. It’s rarely jeans and a t-shirt, although I am trying to dress down more often. One day I would be in a leopard print pencil dress, with sky-high red stilettos, the next, wearing a floral chiffon dress, and cowboy boots. I lie in bed in the morning, waiting for inspiration to hit me about how I want to dress, and then aim in that general direction to pick clothes. I’ll have one item in mind, be it a dress, tights, shoes, or necklace, and piece everything else round that. It’s usually whichever item has just been delivered that morning.
The reason I buy so much, so often, is because I have the attention span of a gnat. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I would only wear an item once, but in some cases, it’s true. I get bored of things so very quickly, and although my adoration on purchase was completely genuine, I seem to only be able to look at things a handful of times before I start to hate the sight of it. Unfortunately this also goes for my hair, and for photos of myself, but that’s another post! Only recently have I come to love certain items of clothing, and find myself going back to them time and time again. I still try not to dress them the same ways, but I realise it’s probably only me who remembers that I wore that necklace with that jumper the last time. I have a Miss Sixty dress, that cost a fortune several Christmas’ ago, that flashes too much chest and has thumb holes in the sleeves, and I wear it everywhere. I’ve never seen anyone else in it, and I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not.
But, for all my frivolous spending, and endless shopping, I do keep one thing constant. Nothing is ‘too good’ to not just wear any day. Dresses that others would keep for fancy dinners get paired down with black tights, and cardigans. Silver snake skin Miu Miu heels get worn with jeans, and white vests from Dunnes. Vivienne Westwood necklaces are perfect for everywhere and anywhere. What is the point in spending any amount of money, be it £5 in Primark, or £200 in Cruise, just to be constantly waiting for the occasion to wear it. If you like it, if it looks good, then just wear it. Life should be occasion enough for the pretty things. Saying that, the purple taffeta dress you bought for your second cousins wedding might not be ideal for the morning school run, but try it for the afternoon one, and it might go down a bit better.
Amidst the chaos and coat hangers and shoe boxes that get thrown about in the mad rush to get dressed, I really do love the giant dressing-up box that I call home. The Heels Household, as it’s affectionally known, may not be a show house, but without it, I just wouldn’t be me.