I was never one of those children who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. Or, rather, I knew what I wanted to be – but I wanted to be everything. A pirate AND a ballerina AND spacefaring mermaid rock star private detective. On rollerskates.
The problem is that, although I’m now an adult and I have something resembling a career, I still don’t know what I want to be and/or want to be everything.
Until recently I had rationalised my career aspirations to the just-about-socially-acceptable concept of being a) an old lady who lives in an ivy-strewn house writing amusing speculative fiction for children, and b) a part-time ninja (please note that in my mind the definition of ‘part-time ninja’ includes ‘someone who sometimes does yoga quite badly’).
And then I discovered cat gifs, and decided I wanted to be a cat giffer.
Imagine it. No meetings (other than ones with CATS). No key performance indicators (other than CATS). No stress or broken coffee machines or tedious chats by the photocopier. Just cats and cats and cats, and maybe some cake.
So, in this post, please let’s forget the fact that ‘cat giffer’ as a profession probably doesn’t exist, and is rather more likely the pastime of socially maladjusted nine-year-olds. Please just indulge me – Robyn Wilder, Expert Cat Giffer – as I bring down the quality of the content of Bea by several notches, and share with you my top 10 cat gifs from the internet:
10. I coulda been a cattender
9. Cattain Hook and Smeeaow
8. Shy-kitten shy
7. Dolphin-friendly tuna
6. MIAOW IS MURDER LOL LOL
4. Spring-heeled cat
3. When you’re a cat you’re the swingingest thing…
2. Shake ya cat, but watch ya self, shake ya cat, show me what you workin’ with…
1. The world’s first self-petting cat
THANK YOU AND I APOLOGISE.