whoever you want to be…

Wet dreams

Those of you who read my regular blog will know I’m currently in the grip of a rather worrying obsession with hot tubs (though the fact the British and Irish Spa and Hot Tub Association estimates there are over 150,000 of them in the UK would indicate I’m not alone in my obsession).

I believe it all began last summer when a friend gave me her ticket to Bathing under the Sky at the Secret Garden Party Festival in Cambridge. After three days of muddy revelling I was more delighted than can accurately be surmised in words to gain access to a garden of Eden-esque wonderland dotted with wooden hot tubs for mine and my fellow revellers’ soaking pleasure. Needless to say at the end of my allotted two hours I left with renewed enthusiasm for the final night of the festival, and with a huge smile on my face.

Fast forward almost a year and a recent visit to the Hot Tub Cinema brought the delights of the hot tub back to the forefront of my mind (though in this case cramming eight people into a small inflatable hot tub didn’t produce quite the same visceral high as my previous example), and prompted me to write a personal blog post detailing my desire to own a bubbling wonderland of my own. Given that I’m highly unlikely to ever be able to afford one, however, I thought for the purpose of both torturing myself and writing something interesting for this blog I would investigate some of the weirdest and most wonderful ones across the globe.

Starting off close to home, I found this rather charming place. Admittedly the Isle of Wight isn’t the first location that comes to mind when one imagines sipping champagne in an outdoor hot tub, but the description of an ‘ocean-fresh bijou B&B by the sea’ conjures up the most wonderfully inviting images. Not only is there a six-seater outdoor hot tub, the delightfully-named Riviera also has three (three!) sun terraces with sea views. The Pillow Talk luxury suite is clearly the room to opt for, with its eight foot (!) wide emperor size bed and private conservatory. Hell, as I’m writing this it’s all I can do not to make a reservation at the next available opportunity to see it with my own eyes.

Still in the UK I found this website which offers over 150 cottages, lodges and log cabins with hot tubs, such as these stunningly located lakeside lodges in Anglesey. I can think of nothing better at the end of a long day’s sightseeing and walking than to sink beneath the bubbling waters of a hot tub overlooking a beautiful and expansive natural lake. Simply bliss.

Moving away from B&Bs with hot tubs I thought it worth exploring just how opulent hot tubs can get – and apparently the answer to that question is extremely opulent. This Daily Mail article enlightened me to the existence of the Rolls Royce of hot tubs, the Luxema 8000; a two-tiered Jacuzzi with its own bar, flat-screen TV and in-built sound system. Can you imagine? Well, luckily for you (or perhaps more accurately those lucky few who are actually able to afford such a grotesquely expensive piece of garden furniture) SPAmbient, the Slovakian manufacturer of the Luxema 8000 have created it so you don’t have to. Smaller models by the same manufacturer will set you back in excess of $26,000, so unless you’re a millionaire already if you fancy a Luxema 8000 to call your own you may require a lottery win (or a filthy rich spouse) to help you out.

On the other side of the Atlantic from the UK, one company are doing a roaring trade in the sale and rental of hot tub boats which are, as their name would suggest, boats with hot tubs on board, complete with drinks coolers and speakers to make your watery voyage complete. If snowy hot tub action’s more your thing, over in Switzerland you can luxuriate in a hot tub buried in the snow and surrounded by its very own igloo enclosure at the Igloo Dorf resort.

My research ended with the novelty hot tub market, admittedly not something I had ever considered before, but which the Hot Tub Company is clearly capitalising on with the beauties on their website. Care to bathe in a giant orange coffee cup or a big red heart? No problem! You can even sit back and relax beneath the bubbles in your very own hot tub in a car. If you have the money, the options really are endless. But for me it’s sadly the money part that’s the problem…

The Luxema 8000: Surely the height of hot tub luxury?

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About Belle365

Hi, I’m Belle. Thanks for stopping by. Here's a list of ten things about me: 1. I want to write, but rarely do it. This tortures me daily, and, unless I seek to remedy it by writing more often, will continue to torture me until my dying day. 2. I worry: about hate, about greed, about selfishness, about the state of the world my (God willing) children will inherit. I worry about what people think of me. I worry that this makes me shallow. I worry about things happening to my loved ones. I worry how I would cope. I worry that this makes me selfish. I worry that worrying will send me to an early grave. But I'm so good at worrying that I also wonder what I would do if I wasn't worrying. Probably more writing (see point 1)....Oh. 3. I see myself as two people (though, as far as I am aware, I am not technically schizophrenic): a) the fancy dress loving party girl, who loves nothing more than having fun with her friends, because she has seen through her own experiences that life is short, so why not enjoy the ride? b) the more serious and reflective person who wants to learn and to help people and to find her higher purpose (I suspect it is also she who really, really wants to write). Sometimes these sides are conflicting. Fortunately they are in total agreement when it comes to chocolate, red wine and travel. 4. I don't see myself as an ardent feminist, but the older I get the more frustrated I feel by the societal view of women and ageing. Having just hit the metabolically displeasing age of 35 (now officially past it according to the massive wankflap that is Donald Trump, as well as virtually every media outlet on the planet, whether they overtly state it or not) I hate the fact I am made (and have let myself be manipulated) to feel that my fertility is now teetering on the edge of a clifftop free fall, and that even if I do negotiate this rocky march towards infertility and manage a miracle procreation, my usefulness as a financially solvent career woman will be over, seeing as having a baby in your mid to late thirties is pretty much akin to career suicide. It's enough to make you want to drown yourself in a vat of wine (hence why I often don a wig and do just that - see point 3a). 5. The older I get, the more I realise that you are never too old to love drum and bass (whether you are ever too old to publicly dance to drum and bass is an issue I am currently grappling with). Ditto UK garage. I will never be ashamed of these two great loves. Never. 6. Speaking of great loves, I have two: my husband, who (sickening as it is) completes me, and Leonardo DiCaprio, whom I have loved since I first laid eyes on him as Romeo to Kate Winslet's Juliet, and will love until my dying day (likewise the husband, all being well). As much as I like Kate Winslet, I will never forgive her for leaving him on that door. There was definitely room for two. 7. I am riddled with self doubt, and have a serious case of imposter syndrome, particularly in relation to my fourteen year communications career. I have never understood how anyone could deem me capable of running their campaigns. The lack of complaints would suggest I haven't made a total balls up of it so far. But there's still time. 8. Infinity and death frighten me senseless. I can't even talk about the universe without breaking into a sweat. I need to believe in life after death because death CANNOT be the end. I should probably have some (more) counselling to address these issues. 9. If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I would win Gold, Silver and Bronze (to give an example, I sat down an hour ago to work on my new novel, and instead have been updating this bio. I refer you to point 1. Sigh). 10. I make more lists than Buzzfeed. When I die, besides having Oasis's Champagne Supernova played at my funeral (deep breaths - see point 8), I should probably have a To Do list inscribed on my headstone for when I reach the other side...
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