whoever you want to be…

Bored

I’m bored.
I’m bored of being seen only as the one in the wheelchair.
I’m bored of my disability being all people remember about me
I’m bored of being defined by my CP.
I’m bored of complete strangers demanding to know how long I’ve been in a wheelchair
Of them asking “what happened?” And then when that doesn’t get the answer they want demanding to know “what’s wrong with you?
I’m bored of fighting.
Of having my concerns ignored
Of asking for something and having it decided for me that something else will do.
I’m bored of saying that I need something and explaining why. Then having that explanation ignored because they know better and my anxiety diagnosis cited as the reason instead.
I’m bored of asking about access because I’m worried and being told I need to have more trust.
I’m bored of broken promises
Assumptions
People forgetting
Not thinking
I’m bored of going round the back
By the bins
Of waiting
Of sitting hoping while staff hunt for lost keys
I’m bored of being a scrounger
Ignored
Hated
I’m bored of being seen as a deserving case
Whilst others fight.
I’m bored of being lesser.
But then
I wouldn’t want to be anything more
Than what
I am
Because I’m me
But most of all
I’m bored of that
not being
What people see.

This post is meant to highlight some of the difficulties I face as a disabled person, the relentlessness and how it can make me feel. I call it an accidental poem, not what I set out to write but what I ended up with. Every time I’ve looked at it since I’ve thought of more disability things I’m bored by – strangers staring while I’m doing something, someone I just met watching me put my coat on and saying to ask if I want help then grabbing it and taking over. That sort of thing. I’ve not made any changes but it’s been oh so tempting.

It originally appeared on my blog on 1st May 2013 as my contribution to Blogging Against Disablism Day 2013.

BADD is a blog swarm type event that’s been run by an excellent blogger known as The Goldfish each year since 2006. Disability bloggers and allies come together to write on that one day and share what disability means to them and well, just blog against the discrimination we face. Those blogs are written by people from all over the world, a huge range of disabilities and from all walks of life.

The range of topics and aspects covered is vast as well. It includes things I never would have thought of. And some very real honesty. I had thought of linking to a few entries I liked in this but its difficult to pick my highlights. So I’d just recommend taking a look at the Master list and The Goldfish’s blog in general. BADD this year was dedicated to the memory of Elizabeth McClung who died a few days before it. Beth faced a hell of a lot of struggles and discrimination in her life but write about those with a candour and level of openness that few bloggers manage. Plus, she shared some amazing pictures. Her reach and impact were huge. Screw Bronze!, her blog, is another worth exploring.

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About Writer In A Wheelchair

Emma describes herself as mouthy and independent, something she's very proud of as it helps her to campaign on disability issues which she is very passionate about. She loves knitting, sailing, swimming and reading. One day she'll be paid to be a writer a goal she's determined to make happen. In the meantime she writes and rambles in many places online including her blog, http://writerinawheelchair.co.uk

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  1. Pingback: Inspiring Disabled People | Bea

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This entry was posted on May 11, 2013 by in Bea Current, Bea Yourself and tagged .
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