whoever you want to be…

What do you do when nothing you try seems to work?

Tangled trees

What do you do when everything you try somehow doesn’t work.

Do you persevere and get increasingly tired and down or try something different? While changing our approaches can be wonderful, sometimes, we need to stop pushing and just let go.

This can feel scary when we’re more comfortable doing things to try to make things happen. And I’m not at all suggesting you stop doing things completely, give up and adopt a passive approach to everything.

But experimenting with just pausing, letting go and allowing things to develop on their own can be liberating.

Is there a situation in your life, work or relationships where you’ve been trying to improve things but something just isn’t right? Where you’ve already adopted several different approaches and you’re still feeling stuck?

What might happen if you just let go and give up any illusion of control around this issue? If you tuned into the wisest part of yourself, right now, and asked, ‘What do you need right now?’ do you get an idea of how you might deal with the same situation in a different way you’d not yet contemplated?

Do you perhaps get the idea that you need a nap (and quickly talk yourself out of it)? What might happen if you allowed yourself some rest and recharging?

What might happen if you paused to just pay attention to your breath and noticed thoughts and feelings without any kind of judgment?

What is the most restful and relaxing thing you can think of? (It might be a walk in the woods or a long hot bath)

It’s not about giving up on whatever you want to improve in your life but about allowing yourself to replenish your resources, regroup and regenerate.

It may feel like an uncomfortable thing to even attempt but if nothing else has worked, or if you simply feel like experimenting with something new, just get into the habit of asking that wise part of you, ‘What do I need right now?’ and start honouring it. Even if it feels lazy or self indulgent.

As well as feeling better, you’ll get more done when you learn to honour and work with your body’s (and life’s) natural cycles.

Sometimes, we humans do the equivalent of digging up seeds to check that things are growing rather than trusting that no matter how muddy and dark things might seem, an enormous amount is going on beneath the surface.

Find out more about my therapeutic mind, body, heart and soul practices (including counselling, coach-therapy, coaching, yoga therapy for mental health and wellbeing, neuro linguistic programming (NLP), emotional freedom technique (EFT), crystals, meditation, relaxation and visualisation) in Witham, Essex (and via telephone and Skype everywhere) to support you in learning how to help yourself Feel Better Every Day.

Image (c) Eve Menezes Cunningham 2014

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About WellbeingEve

Freelance psychology, health and wellbeing journalist / writer and owner at the Feel Better Every Day Consultancy - holistic therapies for your mind, body, heart and soul (in Witham, Essex and worldwide via telephone and Skype)
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