whoever you want to be…

Letting Go

On my personal blog I recently wrote about the danger of comparing ourselves to others. Comparison is, as they say, the death of joy, and nothing positive comes out of coveting what others have, especially if those ‘others’ are people close to us.

The same can be said for holding onto the past – something I have been thinking about a lot this week. Seven years ago someone broke my heart. It took a long time to piece it back together again but, thanks to the unswerving support of my friends and family and the unconditional love and understanding of someone who has made me see what true love really is, I am now stronger and happier than I have ever been.

In recognition of this, and to prove to myself that I am finally ready to let go of the past, I have this week taken the decision to unfriend a number of people from my ‘old’ life on Facebook.
It sounds silly, I know, but I didn’t take this decision lightly. Granted, I was no longer in regular contact with most of these people – it had, understandably, faded with time – but the thin thread that still bound us together was nonetheless there, the elephant in my social media room.

These people were once like family to me and so it’s only natural I still care for them and miss them. But what I’ve finally come to realise is that if you’re not careful your past can hold you back without you even realising it. Sometimes the best thing to do is cut ties and move on, no matter how painful or sad that might be. As the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Instead of mourning them when they go, far better to feel glad they crossed your path at all, and look to the future with hope in your heart.

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About Belle365

Hi, I’m Belle. Thanks for stopping by. Here's a list of ten things about me: 1. I want to write, but rarely do it. This tortures me daily, and, unless I seek to remedy it by writing more often, will continue to torture me until my dying day. 2. I worry: about hate, about greed, about selfishness, about the state of the world my (God willing) children will inherit. I worry about what people think of me. I worry that this makes me shallow. I worry about things happening to my loved ones. I worry how I would cope. I worry that this makes me selfish. I worry that worrying will send me to an early grave. But I'm so good at worrying that I also wonder what I would do if I wasn't worrying. Probably more writing (see point 1)....Oh. 3. I see myself as two people (though, as far as I am aware, I am not technically schizophrenic): a) the fancy dress loving party girl, who loves nothing more than having fun with her friends, because she has seen through her own experiences that life is short, so why not enjoy the ride? b) the more serious and reflective person who wants to learn and to help people and to find her higher purpose (I suspect it is also she who really, really wants to write). Sometimes these sides are conflicting. Fortunately they are in total agreement when it comes to chocolate, red wine and travel. 4. I don't see myself as an ardent feminist, but the older I get the more frustrated I feel by the societal view of women and ageing. Having just hit the metabolically displeasing age of 35 (now officially past it according to the massive wankflap that is Donald Trump, as well as virtually every media outlet on the planet, whether they overtly state it or not) I hate the fact I am made (and have let myself be manipulated) to feel that my fertility is now teetering on the edge of a clifftop free fall, and that even if I do negotiate this rocky march towards infertility and manage a miracle procreation, my usefulness as a financially solvent career woman will be over, seeing as having a baby in your mid to late thirties is pretty much akin to career suicide. It's enough to make you want to drown yourself in a vat of wine (hence why I often don a wig and do just that - see point 3a). 5. The older I get, the more I realise that you are never too old to love drum and bass (whether you are ever too old to publicly dance to drum and bass is an issue I am currently grappling with). Ditto UK garage. I will never be ashamed of these two great loves. Never. 6. Speaking of great loves, I have two: my husband, who (sickening as it is) completes me, and Leonardo DiCaprio, whom I have loved since I first laid eyes on him as Romeo to Kate Winslet's Juliet, and will love until my dying day (likewise the husband, all being well). As much as I like Kate Winslet, I will never forgive her for leaving him on that door. There was definitely room for two. 7. I am riddled with self doubt, and have a serious case of imposter syndrome, particularly in relation to my fourteen year communications career. I have never understood how anyone could deem me capable of running their campaigns. The lack of complaints would suggest I haven't made a total balls up of it so far. But there's still time. 8. Infinity and death frighten me senseless. I can't even talk about the universe without breaking into a sweat. I need to believe in life after death because death CANNOT be the end. I should probably have some (more) counselling to address these issues. 9. If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I would win Gold, Silver and Bronze (to give an example, I sat down an hour ago to work on my new novel, and instead have been updating this bio. I refer you to point 1. Sigh). 10. I make more lists than Buzzfeed. When I die, besides having Oasis's Champagne Supernova played at my funeral (deep breaths - see point 8), I should probably have a To Do list inscribed on my headstone for when I reach the other side...

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This entry was posted on May 30, 2014 by in Bea Spiritual and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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